You know, I’m sure I’m not unlike any of the rest of you out there trying to make things happen...believing that God is just waiting to open the door, right? I toil away most days trying to be optimistic while resting on a promise that I believe God has made for our household.
Well, yesterday, I found myself being surrounded by a series of “what if’s” that had me really questioning...
”what’s next?”
Well after a series of negative outcomes, I began to really get beside myself, wondering...
"ok, God what else would you have for me to do? I feel like I’ve tried every possible approach in this area…and I simply don’t know what more to do!"
My thoughts were so loud that all I could hear in my head were thoughts like:
"What if the promise I think He made isn’t really what I thought?"
"Maybe the Word we’ve received from various sources has not been all accurate."
"What if I will have to do what I’m doing now for +10 more years before I am graced with the opportunity to do what I love?"
"What if a crisis happens tomorrow to negate the efforts we’ve made?"
"What if we never get out of debt?" which is a huge deal because I feel like I can’t leave what I do now for what I love until we do so...
"What if the gift I think that I have isn’t really all that wonderful?"
"What if the area that I thought God was really going to bless us in, really isn’t where He’s trying to bless us?"
"What if the dream I have ever comes to fruition… will there be someone to carry it on?"
Yeah, you name it, I really thought it.
I just really began to second guess everything with what’s-whats and why’s and why can’ts and how comes.
Have you ever been there?
I began to think:
"it's 2012 and I have decreed and declared how great this year will be for me, my husband, our marriage, our household, and our business."
And then I was reminded of two things..this poem that I’ve heard several times over the years:
and a snippet of my book selection from my
12 for ’12 list,
As a Man Thinketh.
There are so many nuggets in this book to make you think, its almost crazy!
"His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with his thoughts and actions."
and this
"A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And as he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself."
but anyway, here's one of the poems from the book:
So You will be what you will to be;
Let failure find its false content
In that poor word, 'environment,'
But spirit scorns it, and is free.
It masters time, it conquers space;
It cowes that boastful trickster, Chance,
And bids the tyrant Circumstance Uncrown,
and fill a servant's place.
The human Will, that force unseen,
The offspring of a deathless Soul,
Can hew a way to any goal,
Though walls of granite intervene.
Be not impatient in delays
but wait as one who understands;
When spirit rises and commands
The gods are ready to obey."
Allen, James (2009-10-04). As a Man Thinketh (p. 36). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.
So, today, I'm thankful for the If...this wonderful If is the key to positive / negative thoughts that can make all the difference in the world. I, until now, used to be incredibly scared of the "if" and the potential for failure. I'm slowly figuring out that the whats won't matter, if my response is right. So, here's to that revelation...of course, everyday is a work in progress. I hope somewhere, somehow in all of these characters in this post that you've found encouragement for yourself...and if you what ifs begin to overwhelm you, remember to align your wishes and prayers with your thoughts and actions...and in your quiet time, read this:
Here's the text from
If:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
